Only by God’s Grace

Sarah Farris, Good News Dallas Church

Until now, my eight-year-old son, Devin, has had a really difficult time at home and at school. Ever since he was in kindergarten he would constantly get in trouble and get suspended. In my mind I thought, “He’s so young. If this is how he is now, what will his life be like when he gets a little older?”

  God continuously gave me hardships with my kids. I went through many different stages of how I felt and thought about God and why he was allowing this situation to me. December 2011, the school decided it was time for my son to be sent to an alternative school, where all the problem kids go. I was devastated. At home, I can’t control him, and at school, they can’t control him. He won’t listen, he’s so hyper, can’t sit still, just constantly out of control and too much for anyone to handle.

I condemned myself and truly felt sorry for him having such a horrible mom, who has no parenting skills. I came back from the English Camp, in Mexico, in January when my son was starting at his new school. Even at the alternative school, where there are metal detectors when you walk in the front doors and police officers around, he still was out of control. He would run up and down the hallways, hide under tables and he even tore his own shoes apart. All I saw was despair.

One day, his teacher mentioned to me that I should take him to the doctor for an evaluation. With the information collected from all of his previous teachers, the doctor diagnosed my son with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder). I had a sorrowful heart, but couldn’t help but to be thankful that we finally had an explanation for all of this. We were able to start him on medication and he has been able to focus in school and he just received an award for Most Improved 2^nd grader.

Most importantly, through this whole situation, God revealed my heart to me. For such a long time, I saw my kids through my own eyes. I saw how miserable they were. I saw their actions and said something was wrong with them. But God has changed my heart, and I am able to rely only on God. God has given me these situations because he wants my heart, and to trust only in Him. The more I put my hands in His work, the more difficult I make the situation. I was able to see that I cannot live without God’s grace. Even though we still have our ups and downs, God has given me peace and I am able to rest in Jesus Christ.

I can’t make my kids happy, nor can I change them in any way. My prayers have no longer been for God to change my kids, but for God to allow Jesus Christ to come into their heart. That is where true happiness begins.