(A Mustard Seed) A Conversation I Once Had in a Car

Pastor Ock Soo Park's Testimony

HOW CAN I BE DEAD WHEN I STILL HAVE AMBITIOUS

I travel a lot, and usually by car. In one day, if I visit the churches near Seoul and return from preaching, usually I travel about 600 kilometers and close to 800 kilometers when I have traveled a lot that day. There have also been times when I traveled up to 1,000 kilometers in one day. During those times, I travel with other pastors, and we buy some soda at the rest area or talk about the Bible together or have a prayer meeting inside the car. As we have a prayer meeting or talk about the Bible together in the car, those 3-4 hours do not seem very long, and before we know it, we have reached our destination.

One time, I was riding a car with another pastor, and we were discussing spiritual life. Then our discussion led to the fact that when Jesus was crucified on the cross, we were also crucified with him. Although he is a pastor, he only knew that ‘I have been crucified with Christ and was buried,’ but he didn’t have true faith. He discovered that he had the heart, ‘I am alive now and the ambitions of the flesh arise within me, so how can I be dead?’ So I opened up the Bible and continued to speak with him.

There are many places in the Bible that record the fact that we have been crucified on the cross with Jesus Christ. It also says in the Bible that, “I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” Therefore, we know “I am dead,” but a question arises in our hearts. There are a lot of people who live spiritual life with the thought that “If I died, then the ambitions of the flesh with its lust should not arise, but when it does, it doesn’t seem like I died.”

It is easy to think that I am following God’s Word when, in reality, I am following my own thoughts because these kinds of questions are not resolved by accurate faith. These kinds of people, who believe they are following God’s Word, are actually following their own thoughts. They slowly go in the wrong direction and end up living a wrong spiritual life far from God.

CLEAR LINE BETWEEN GOD’S WORDS AND MY THOUGHTS

God called Abraham when he was 75 years old, and when he was 99 years old, God told Abraham, “Your wife, Sarah, shall bear you a son.” At that time, Abraham thought, “How can a 100 year old man have a child? And Sarah is 90 years old…” We can see that Abraham’s heart did not match God’s heart. When Peter met Jesus at the Sea of Galilee, he caught a lot of fish when he listened to the words of Jesus and let down his net into the deep. However, at the last supper when Jesus said, “You will all forsake me.” We can see that Peter put forth his own thought, “Even if I were to die, I will not forsake you.”

People have many thoughts and live following them. However, there is the temptation of Satan in those thoughts. The temptations of Satan not only come to the unsaved but also to those who are already saved. That is why Jesus turned to Peter and said, “Get behind me, Satan.” This is the reason why we must draw a clear line between God’s Word and my thoughts in order for us to live a true spiritual life following the Lord. Among the saved, there are many who live according to a standard of spiritual life that seems similar to God’s Word.

Living a true spiritual life is following the Word of God instead of my own thoughts, by realizing that I am fundamentally evil, filthy, dirty, and denying myself. When God’s Word and our thoughts are different, we need to throw out our thoughts and receive the Word of God.

OLD THINGS PASSED AWAY, ALL THINGS ARE NEW

We should not only deny ourselves but believe in the fact that we have died with Christ. When Jesus was crucified on the cross, certainly he died for our sins. I am the one who committed the sins, but how is it that when Jesus was crucified on the cross, my sins were washed? It is because God is the one who passed our sins onto Jesus. The reason that Jesus died on the cross was not for his own sins but for our sins. In addition, because Jesus died for our sins, his death is really our death.

The body of Jesus is different from ours, so it may not make sense. However, when the heart of Jesus and our own heart become one, and we believe in the words of Jesus by faith, in the world of the heart, we have become as one. That is why when Jesus was crucified on the cross, we also died with him. Because Jesus and I become one spiritually, the death of Jesus was really my own death, and my sins ended at the cross. Afterwards, Jesus resurrected with a holy body that had nothing to do with sin. If we have become one with Jesus, we have died together with Jesus, and we have also resurrected with Jesus.

Apostle Paul in Romans 6:6, “Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.” We were slaves to sin, always being dragged and tempted by it. However, if we believe that we have died on the cross with Jesus and that his death was my own death through being one, we will no longer have to be dragged around by sin. We will be free from sin, and God will lead us to live a holy life.

In Romans 6:1-2, “What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace might abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?” Also in 2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” Only our outer covering is left, inside of us we have completely become new. We will live a bright life because we have a new life free from sin.